For a while now, I’ve been avoiding sharing—the version of “sharing” commandeered by the internet, to be clear. I just haven’t had the impetus to post, to write, to photograph, to craft something for public viewing and algorithmic consumption. I read recently the poet Nikita Gill made a call for us all to actually behave exactly as ourselves, as we would in real life (manners and all!) on social media. If I think of it that way, then I have performed a bit of a disappearance act, this singer/introvert (yes we do exist) has dialed back her interpersonal life and online presence. It seems all I have the energy for lately is constructing a compassionate container for my current life, my big-dream life and sprinkling in the work of songwriting (and re-writing) of, which will be recorded soon.
This container is new, forced through the slow catharsis only a pandemic can bring; stillness, deep-self reflection, desire for new movement, desire for nuanced form. But now I am an artist slowly exiting her quiet era, preparing to record an album after years trying to figure out sustainable ways to make, play, and love music.
In a way I entered my 30’s through a pandemic portal…what a strange bookend to my 20’s. Now I sit here with my morning coffee, my dog, the piano, socking away whatever money I have towards making an album with the dream of one day singing these songs for you—just for you (!!
). Maybe that is the reason I’m writing to you today, because some excitement has finally returned when I think of emerging from this container where the music can flow out loud and be shared ;)
Curious if anyone else feels like the pandemic portal forced them through some sort of catharsis or change? I can’t be the only one…
Till next time,
Nellen
i’m glad there will be songs to hear! (this is susannah, i don’t know why i’m showing up as a noname)
Thanks Susannah 🥰!